Saturday, February 25, 2012

"That African Lady"....

I feel sorry for her, in a way. You may think I am foolish. Essentially, I am a humanitarian.
Her much smaller unit was basically around the corner from mine. The metal walls of the units were shared and constructed pretty half-assed. She was storing THREE (3) ONE HUNDRED (100) POUND BAGS OF RICE. 300 POUNDS TOTAL. In original, giant, burlap, imported rice bags.

This is like Easter Brunch at the Ritz-Carleton for rodents. All you can eat and steal.    

So, it was BYO from her place, party at mine. I had the sofa, mattresses, down pillows and comforters (sob!), the Ritz-Carleton Presidential Suite for rodents. And, based on the fact that a live litter was found in my box of CHRISTMAS CHINA (which I was too sick about to photograph), the Prentice Rodent-Womens Maternity Hospital.  Pretty swanky, rodent style, I guess.

Anyway, this woman, while certainly instrumental in Rodent-Palooza!, was clearly very new in the country. I could tell from her dress and language skills, the few times we spoke. Most likely from, as much of Africa unfortunately is, someplace that had famine and a monster dictator who doled out teaspoons of gruel to toddlers with bloated stomachs, and pocketed the money raised by Bono. Watch yourself some BBC and C-SPAN if you doubt these places exist. She was, like you know, a refugee, I think? There are many in East Rogers Park.

She has small children.  And she, I highly suspect a famine victim refugee, managed to score 300 fucking pounds of what I also suspect is the staple of her diet. What would you do? Food for, oh a YEAR, maybe? And you don't give a shit if it is contaminated because you grew up with doled out teaspoons of gruel. Now, your own children don't have to.

It is clear in everybody's lease, every self-storage lease in fact, food storage is prohibited. Obviously, this situation illustrates the reasoning beautifully.  Let's remember, this woman's  English language skills were most likely challenged. Like when reading gobbledegook American leases. That were, if they were, probably explained to her by a gobbledegooking idiot in the front office. 

BUT--LIFE STORAGE KNEW ABOUT IT AND DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. Nope. Idiot Fred said, several times in several weeks he was going to TALK TO "That African Lady".  And never did. And who, but her, knows how long that shit was in there? How much damage was DONE TO MY SHIT IN THAT TIME?   His co-worker said she could smell it (along with PISS, thanks!) and was reporting it to Corporate!. Weeks later, Regional Manager Michelle Wight came in like a tank: She investigated! She concurred! And she ordered her evicted! 

Nobody did NOTHIN' for weeks MORE. Then the woman was confronted and ordered to throw it out.  The amount of rice was astounding. Like what I think would be ordered for an army. And she stayed, which was okay. I think the loss of the rice made her cry.

Life Storage should have handled this in a timely manner and prevented it. Lazy, apathetic and incompetent, it did not. The rice didn't create the mice. It just enticed them over for dining and romance in, on, and around my European down comforter. They shouldn't have been there in the first place.

THEN, when I first attempted to discuss Life Storage reimbursing me for my losses with Michelle Wight, she informed me that it was not accepting responsibility. It wasn't their fault! They did all they could to help! (Help?) Because they're such nice guys! She then informed me I  "should go after That African Lady. It is her fault!".

What ?

I could not make this up. Can you even imagine thinking such a thing? First, what kind of asshole would do that? A refugee who has the mindset to horde rice, and has been through who knows what else. Secondly, from a "practical ", legal-ass, monetary aspect this woman wouldn't have a pot to piss in, unless she really is one of those African Princesses who sends out spam email and has a imprisoned husband with a huge foreign bank account for real--and we all know there are many lined up for a piece of that pie.

Sure! Instead of the two rich guys who OWN THE PLACE AND SHOULD HAVE HAD IT EXTERMINATED PROPERLY, have these 14 17 18! 20-locations, or something like that PLUS other  businesses,  big ass houses in wealthy suburbs (and possibly Canada), Mercedes (or Beemers or whatever) PORSCHES, BITCHES!!!!, and INSURANCE (I should hope).  Who hire morons to run this one and don't even have the balls or decency to admit fault.  CLEARLY, they're cheap.  Though I presume they understand English. Sure. I'll be doing that.

Once again, seriously lady, are you fucking kidding me? What kind of crazy-ass would even dream up such a thing? Life Storage, of course!

So, in  "That African Lady's " honor 


 http://www.freerice.com/

Play it. It's for a good cause. And it's fun.







No comments:

Post a Comment